When Your Toddler Throws Toys: Managing Frustration and Big Emotions

Your little one loves stacking blocks, but then the tower falls. Next thing you know, those blocks go flying across the room with a loud thud, followed by a scream of frustration.

Sound familiar? This scenario plays out in homes everywhere, sometimes multiple times a day. Puzzle pieces won't cooperate and end up airborne. Drawings don't look right, so crayons follow suit. You worry about things getting broken, siblings getting hurt, and the intense emotions your child is experiencing.

The good news? This throwing behavior is completely normal, and there are proven strategies to help.

According to Attachment Parenting International, this behavior is developmentally normal for two-year-olds. Here's what's happening:

They can't yet manage big emotions. The brain systems that control emotional regulation don't fully develop until after age three. Until then, children need adult guidance to navigate overwhelming feelings.

Words aren't available yet. Most toddlers lack the vocabulary to express complex feelings like frustration or disappointment. When they can't say it, they show it.

Throwing provides physical release. When anger floods a toddler's system, the urge to throw feels overwhelming and nearly impossible to stop. It's a bodily release for feelings that have no name yet.

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Stay calm yourself. Your reaction teaches your child how to handle anger. A composed parent models emotional regulation in action.

Name the emotion immediately. Say something like, "You feel frustrated because the tower fell. I can see you're upset." Labeling emotions helps children learn to recognize and eventually manage their feelings.

Set a clear, calm boundary. Use a firm but gentle tone: "I won't let you throw toys. Throwing can hurt people and break things." Consistency matters more than volume.

Remove the thrown toy temporarily. Follow through: "You threw the blocks, so the blocks need a break on the shelf." This reinforces your boundary without shame.

Offer a safe physical outlet. Redirect that energy: "If you feel angry, you can stomp your feet hard on the floor. Show me your strongest stomps!" Other options include punching a pillow, squeezing a stress ball, or pushing against a wall.

Anticipate challenging moments. Notice patterns in when throwing happens. Is it before naptime? When hungry? Once you identify triggers, you can intervene earlier.

Validate feelings before they overflow. Acknowledge emotions as they arise: "You feel upset that your friend took your toy." This validation often prevents escalation.

Maintain a consistent routine. Toddlers need to eat every 2-3 hours and nap at predictable times. Hunger and tiredness fuel frustration.

Redirect with enthusiasm. When you see frustration building, enthusiastically introduce something new: "Oh! I see a bird outside! Want to look?"

Create a calm-down corner. Set up a cozy space with soft items: stuffed animals, pillows, or stress balls. When your child seems overwhelmed, gently guide them there: "It looks like you need some quiet time."

Emphasize effort over perfection. Say "You worked so hard on that puzzle" instead of "Great job finishing it!" This reduces frustration when things don't go right.

This phase is temporary. Your toddler's brain is growing rapidly, and emotional regulation develops every day. Most children begin showing better control around age three.

Progress isn't linear. Your child might go weeks without throwing, then suddenly start again during developmental leaps or changes in routine.

You're not aiming for perfection—you're aiming for connection and teaching. Every time you respond calmly and offer alternatives, you're building your child's emotional intelligence for the future. Be patient with yourself and your little one—you're both learning together.

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Calm Toddler Hacks provided by Chilkibo Publishing, helping families find their calm with trusted strategies.