You hold up the shirt - your toddler runs off. You try again, and they shout "no!" The clock's ticking. You've got ten minutes before you need to leave.
It's the same every morning. Getting dressed turns into a battle, and you're left feeling drained before the day even starts. You're not alone - these power struggles wear everyone down.
Why This Happens
Power struggles over getting dressed are common for children ages two to six. It's a normal stage of development. Toddlers are learning independence and want to feel some control over their world.
Sometimes their refusal isn't about the clothes at all. Your child enjoys being home with you, and getting dressed signals that separation is coming. That can stir up anxiety.
Other times, your child is absorbed in play. Transitioning away from something fun feels hard - the emotional brain takes over, and logic temporarily shuts down.
Source: My Parent Toolkit
What Works Right Now
Prep clothes the night before. When your child is calm and happy, choose outfits together and lay them out for morning. This reduces stress when emotions run high.
Offer limited choices - two shirts, two pairs of pants. Too many options can overwhelm toddlers, but a few choices help them feel in control.
Make getting dressed playful. Set a timer and see if everyone can finish before it rings. Or offer a small incentive: "When you get dressed quickly, we can read a story before we leave."
Give five-minute warnings before dressing time. It helps children prepare for transitions. Go to them, join their play for a moment, then gently guide them toward getting dressed.
Stay calm through resistance. When tantrums hit, it's not defiance - it's overwhelm. Your child isn't trying to make things hard; they're struggling with big feelings they don't yet know how to manage.
Prevention Strategies
Let your child sleep in their next-day clothes occasionally. It can ease morning stress while you work on building new routines.
Wake up a little earlier so you can get ready first. Having that buffer gives you more patience and presence for your child.
Connect before correcting. Try, "You were hoping to keep playing with your trains. You feel sad it's time to stop." When children feel understood, big feelings settle faster.
Wait until calm returns before problem-solving. During a meltdown, your child's thinking brain shuts down. Once emotions ease, that's the time to talk about solutions.
What morning routine strategies have worked for your family? Simply reply to this email and let us know!
Calm Toddler Hacks provided by Chilkibo Publishing, helping families find their calm with trusted strategies.