Toddlers feel everything in a big way, but they don’t yet know how to handle it. When a meltdown starts, it can feel like it will never end. Watching your child get swept up in those emotions can leave you wondering what will actually help.
Why Toddlers Lose Control So Easily
Toddlers are not being dramatic on purpose. Their feelings simply take over. Their brains are still developing, so they cannot yet put on the brakes when emotions run high. It is not about getting attention or pushing your buttons. They are just overwhelmed, and this is where your guidance matters.
Step by Step: Helping Your Toddler Learn to Self-Regulate
1. Teach them the names of feelings.
Research from the Child Mind Institute shows that kids get better at handling emotions once they can name them. The next time your toddler feels upset, squat down and say something like, “You look frustrated,” or “You feel angry.” Keep your words short and clear. Try pointing to their reflection in the mirror, or take photos of them making different expressions. Later, look at those pictures together and talk about what those feelings mean.
2. Make breathing exercises fun.
Connecticut Children’s recommends “bubble breaths.” Have your toddler pretend to blow a big bubble, nice and slow, so it does not pop. You can also try “flower breaths.” Pretend to smell a flower for four counts, then blow out a candle for four counts. The key is to practice these when they are calm, not during a meltdown.
3. Create a calm-down space.
Set up a quiet corner with soft lighting, pillows, a cozy blanket, and a favorite stuffed animal. This should not feel like punishment or a time-out. It is a safe place where your toddler can go when things feel overwhelming. Show them how to use it when they are feeling calm so it becomes familiar.
4. Model self-regulation.
Let your child see you manage your own emotions. If you are frustrated, say it out loud: “I feel upset, so I am going to take three deep breaths.” Toddlers learn more from watching you than from what you say. When they see you calm yourself, they learn how to do the same.
5. Use visual tools.
Make a simple feelings chart with faces showing emotions such as happy, sad, angry, and scared. Point to it during the day and ask, “Which face looks like how you feel?” Over time, this helps build emotional vocabulary.
Keep Practicing
Keep naming feelings, practicing breathing games, and modeling calm behavior. The more you practice, the more your toddler will learn to handle big emotions. Teaching your toddler to calm down on their own takes time, but it helps build skills that last a lifetime.
Sources:
Was this newsletter helpful? Just reply to this email. We would love to hear any feedback you have.
Calm Toddler Hacks provided by Chilkibo Publishing, helping families find their calm with trusted strategies.
